Amanda and Sarek: Meeting Michael Burnham
by AmandaG96
Summary: While still recovering from a miscarriage, Sarek informs Amanda that they are to receive a young ward. Excited and conflicted, Amanda tries her hardest to help the young girl adjust to her new surroundings and find a new balance. Constructive criticism and ideas for future stories are always welcome, but be nice :-) Live long and prosper!


**Rating**: T

**Plot:** While still recovering from the miscarriage, Amanda receives some surprising news from Sarek -they are to receive a ward. This is my interpretation of what possibly went through Amanda's mind upon meeting young Michael Burnham. (Extended from the scene in Star Trek Discovery)

**Note:** In this story, Michael is younger when she joins the family. I tried to keep it as close to the scenes in Discovery, but some dialogue has been changed. I hope you enjoy this interpretation. As always Constructive criticism and ideas for future stories are always welcome, but as always

\- be nice :-)

Live long and propser!

* * *

Meeting Michael Burnham

A sense of normalcy had finally returned. I had been back to work for a couple of weeks now and things were finally starting to return to normal. I reflected on the last few weeks still plagued with sadness. Blood transfusions, painful injections to normalize my levels, lots of sleep, and lots of tears. Thankfully, after I was finally cleared by the doctor to do some light activity, I was able to drown myself with paperwork, but there was only so much paperwork one can manage before feeling like going mad. As I fought to catch up on paperwork, sleep seemed to become the enemy, my mind had finally stopped with all the 'what if's' and 'it's my fault' but now, as I laid in bed watching the outside light become brighter and brighter throughout the bedroom the overwhelming feeling of annoyance and curiosity flooded my mind. You see, I was not the only one in the house who sleep was at war with my husband had not been sleeping well these past few weeks, at first I thought it was because of the miscarriage but after some small talk and rumors floating around at the embassy I realized it was something to do with work. He had never been like this with work, in my eight years of knowing him he was never one to stress over work, or anything for that matter, but I was starting to grow concerned after the circles under his eyes began to darken and darken by the day. After some probing he wouldn't speak about it, claiming that when matters were confirmed, then it would be appropriate for him to tell me, but I had been with him for eight years, I knew there was something else to it. So, I did the logical thing and looked through government files, after hours of looking I finally got somewhere when I came across a recent classified file, but it was tightly locked, and I couldn't open it. _I should have used Sarek's access code, or T'pal's. Surely it would have opened then! _I sighed in frustration starting to really have enough of secrets, along with the consistent drift in the other side of the bed.

I threw back the covers and got out of bed, wrapping my robe around me and walked through the slightly lit corridor, past one of the sitting rooms and to the kitchen. I expected Sarek to likely be meditating but to my surprised, I found him standing against the counter, with a mug of Vulcan tea pressed to his lips. _Oh, My poor husband_. With a sympathetic sigh and walked into the kitchen and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"My love, come to bed" I said, softly.

"You should be in bed, Amanda."

I reached into the cupboard retrieving a glass, "I am well enough to get some water, husband" I assured.

I opened the refrigeration union and pulled the clear jug out and poured some water. Whatever this secret, or matter at work was, it was weighing heavily on him, he needed to just talk to me instead of meditating. It never worked anyway. At this point, I just wanted him to come to bed, his appearance was really starting to worry me. I sighed in frustration, sitting my water beside him, I wrapped my arm around his and resting my hand on his shoulder.

"Sarek, we should talk about this now. I am worried about you." You could cut his stress level with a knife. I mustn't lie, having a Vulcan husband in the beginning of our marriage was hard. I couldn't read between the lines yet, but now, reading between the lines my second job. _Just say it._

"We are to receive a ward" I had to fight myself from spitting out my water. _I'm sorry, what? A ward, as in a child?_ He continued, "Two weeks ago. the embassy informed me that something…. inconceivable happened to a girl and that It would be wise that I… that we take her into our household on the account of her species."

A human? A HUMAN! And a girl?! I had to fight my heart from leaping out of my chest, heck, I had to fight myself from leaping up and down with joy. A HUMAN, and a girl!? I've always wanted a daughter…. And attention, the girl must be craving it. _How long has she been in the care of the system here, what happened to her parents, was she damaged?_ I tightened my grip on the glass.

"What happened to her parents?" Is all I could manage.

"Something… unimaginable" He took in a mouthful of tea.

"Is this why you have lost sleep over the past couple of weeks?" I asked, taking a drink.

"Yes" he drew in a breath "and you. It seems illogical to bring a child into our household after the… after you have been through"

I smiled sadly, yes, it was not ideal, yes, it was sad what had happened, and yes it does not seem like to right time… but it is going to happen. I found his hand with mine and caressed it gently.

"After what we have been through" I reminded, " and we will make it work" I told him, smile grazed my lips trying to find some humor in the conversation "It is rather odd of you to express your worry for me"

"It is necessary under the circumstances" he responded, taking another mouthful of tea. We were silent for a moment, my head still resting on his shoulder and his resting upon mine. My body still ached from the ordeal, and my heart still hurt from the loss, I never saw the child, I was never given a chance to say goodbye. That chapter seemed to close without an end but as I shuffled a yawn, I thought, perhaps this new 'ward' could be the end of the chapter. I looked up at him and smiled feeling my excitement grow. A human!

"She is human" my excitement grew with each word. A fellow human in the house, someone who… I can love. "When will she be joining us?" I asked, "I will ask the servants to get a room ready during breakfast".

"The servants are already notified of the new coming, and she shall be joining us tomorrow around 5 in the afternoon"

I smirked, always like my husband to leave things until the last minute. "When were you planning on telling me this?

"In the morning before I left for the embassy. It seemed..."

"logical" I rolled my eyes playfully.

"I was going to say appropriate considering Spock would be awake".

I shuffled a scoffed. Yes, that would have been a good idea.

"I shall tell him in the morning"

After a while, I took him by the hand and dragged him to bed. Three weeks without any sleep was long enough. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me gently towards him, he was so warm, so soft, and I had never felt safer, but I waited to hear him snore before I finally shut my eyes.

* * *

The morning soon came and went, and the servants were finally done preparing the room for the newest addition. I was still not comfortable in my usual corseted gowns, so I opted for a loose white gown and covered it with my red robe adding a gold belt for detail. My heart racing a million miles an hour as the time passed. Many questions rushed through my head; _Would this child be damaged; would I be more harm to this child than good? _

I stood in the doorway as they walked up the pathway, side by side. I got a good look at her when she rounded the corner, she was young I estimated around five or six, looked skinny but healthy, her hair was neatly put together, and she had the most beautiful chocolate brown skin. Sarek walked beside her carrying a small bag, of course, he looked handsome as ever in his dark brown robes. I welcomed them in and upon extending my hand I was rather surprised to see her run behind Sarek, peaking her head out from behind his waist

"It's alright honey, I'm sorry I scared you. You don't need to be scared" I said softly and slow, hoping I wouldn't frighten her more I bend down to her level, while she was taller than Spock, _maybe she was older?_ I still kept a distance; she slowly peaked her head out from behind Sarek.

"My name is Amanda. What's your name?"

Slowly she inched herself away from Sarek and walked over to me. I knew at this moment; I would have to wait for her to initiate any physical contact, even though all I wanted to do was wrap her in a hug.

"Michael" She said softly,

I smiled as she looked at me, she wouldn't know what these words meant now, but hopefully as she aged, she would know "Well, I bless you Michael. Now, and forever"

She looked around, taking in the situation, and soon her eyes fell on top of the balcony. Our eyes followed to see Spock standing at the edge.

I turned back to her "Would you like to meet our son?" I asked her softly. And with a small smile, she followed me to the stairs. I lifted the bottom of my dress and slowly walked up the stairs,

"Your room is right next to Spock's" I started, "You have, what I think is the best view of…"

A small little hand brushed up against mine. I looked down to see her intertwining her hand with mine. I squeezed it softly, feeling the tears well in my eyes. We continued to walk up the stairs

"You have the best view of the house" I continued.

After walking down the hall, we stood in the doorway of Spock's room. He appeared to be doing some work. I didn't even notice my husband behind me, until I heard his voice.

"Spock" he called, but he did not respond

"Spock" His voice now more serious, "this is Michael Burnham, she will be staying with us. I expect you to treat her well and teach her the ways of Vulcan".

And of course, with my son, first meetings never really go as expected. After the attack of a holographic dragon and slamming of the door, Michael retreated into her room. I tried to get her to open the door, but she wouldn't budge. After a couple moments, I sat down at her door hoping that she would open it once thinking we were gone. Sarek was speaking to Spock and upon leaving his room saw me sitting on the floor.

"She has been through something unimaginable, Amanda. She…needs time, and it is not wise for you to be sitting on the floor".

I was in no mood for patronizing. "How old is she?" I asked, my eyes still glued to the door.

"She is near Spock's age. She is six years, five months".

"What if she gets hungry, or thirsty. She does not know where the kitchen is"

His reassuring hand fell caressed my shoulder "She looked into the kitchen on the way through the house, Amanda" his hands wrapped around my arms and pulled me to my feet. I needed to stay up here, Sarek's office was adjacent from the children's room, which provided the best opportunity.

"I know you have some of my documents from the council in your office. Can I work in there for a couple of hours?"

I honestly didn't think he would agree, his office was his sacred space as my office was mine. I did not want to intrude but I did not want to leave the child.

"If you insist, you can work in my office for a couple of hours while I meditate"

So, I set up camp in his office. I forced myself to be engulfed in one of my many awaiting documents. I shuffled yawns as the hours passed and hardly noticed when the sun set. As I was about to admit defeat and turn off the light, I heard a bedroom door open. My heart leaped out of my chest, was it her? Or Spock? There was a moment of silence, and as I was about to speak, the young girl appeared in the doorway.

Her eyes stained red with dry streaks of tears down her face, I had to fight myself I wanted desperately to hug her, but I didn't want her to retreat. I was clueless, I didn't know what to say so I said the first thing that popped into my head,

"Are you hungry?' I asked softly, she shook her head. "Are you thirsty?" she shook her head.

"Would you like a hug?" I asked, extending my arms out to her. While I fully expected her to deny, I hoped that she wouldn't I mean, whenever I cried I wanted a hug surely, she does too. After some hesitation, I felt my heart skip a beat as she walked closer to me. She slowly nuzzled her way into my arms,

"It's alright" I reassured softly, I wrapped my arms around her, but not too tightly. Her little body started to shake and soon the tears flooded back. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held on. I pulled her onto my lap, her legs barley hanging off the side of my lap as she nuzzled her against my neck. I started to rock her. "Oh, honey. It's alright. Everything will be alright. I promise."

As I continued to rock her, I could only imagine what she was going through. Her parents were dead, she was being cared for god-knows-where by people she didn't know on a strange planet. I choose this life, I choose to be with Sarek, I choose to change my ways because I love him. She had no choice. I continued to rock her hoping she would calm down, but after a good five minute with the weeping not subsiding, I soon realized that if she didn't calm down soon, she was surly going to make herself sick. Raising Spock and not being allowed, in a way, to be a traditional mother by giving him love and affection had failed me in this situation. I didn't know what to do other than rock her, but I had to think of something else and quick. Hmm… maybe… just maybe….

"Tell me, my darling. What is your favourite book? I bet we can find it in my library".

Her little head perked up from my shoulder. I wiped her tears away with my sleeve. "I…don't…have…a fav…favourite…b..book"

"Well, why don't we go look for one in my library and have some ice cream?"

I scooped her up from my lap and carried her downstairs. The doctors said no heavy lifting for another week, and I know Sarek would not approve of it, but they can** eff** off. As we rounded the corridor, I caught Miranda, one of the servants. She looked like she was just getting ready to retire for the night, I must remember to pay her extra for this request.

"Miranda, please tell me we have ice cream in the house?"

"Yes, Lady Amanda. We have vanilla" She said shuffling a yawn.

"Perfect. Could you bring two bowls with some chocolate sauce to my office, please?"

Oh, if she were human, I was convinced she would have strangled me. Thankfully she agreed without a fuss and I went into my office, shutting the door.

"Have you seen holographs before?" I asked her. She peaked her head up from my neck and shook her head, although I was sure she probably did. Perhaps it was a sign of regressing.

"Really? Well, watch this – Candlelight!"

While it was not in awe, I watched the first little glimmer emotion as we watched the room go from dark to a beautiful candlelit scenery. Holographic candles were on the bookcase, my desk, and on the shelves. It was truly my favorite thing about our home. I went over to my desk and sat her on my chair, thankfully Miranda came with the ice cream just in time. I took the bowls from her and closed the door placing the biggest scoop in front of her. I placed mine beside hers and swooped her up, sitting in my chair and placing her on my lap. I reached to the side of my desk, where the lone book sat and pulled it in front of her.

"This is my favourite book as well as Spock's. Do you know it?" I asked her softly picking up her bowl of ice cream.

She shook her head.

"Can you read the title out to me?"

"Alice in W…." she sounded out, taking the spoon that was sticking out of the ice cream. I followed my finger along the title, helping her sound it out

"Won…der…land" I smiled "Can I read it to you tonight? I think you will enjoy it"

Placing the spoonful of ice cream in her mouth she nodded, and I opened the book to page one. Spock's book note was well ahead, but I was confident that she would catch up in no time.

"Down the rabbit hole…" I began.

With each paragraph her face grew more and more intrigued, it was exciting to watch. With each paragraph she cuddled herself against my body and even wrapped my robe around her legs. I had forgotten what it was like to cuddle a child - that warm feeling that one gets, the warm feeling in your heart. I continued reading and she listened, slowly eating her ice cream. With her head rested on my shoulder she soon felt heavy in my lap. I closed the book and carried her to her room, placing her gently on the bed, and pulled the over to her shoulders. I caressed her face gently before planting a small kiss on her forehead.

"Sweet dreams… little bunny".

And left the room, down the stairs and joined my husband in bed. It seems that sleep finally caught up with Sarek, as I got into bed he stirred from sleep and wrapped his warm arms around me.

"hmm… is she well?" he asked, half asleep.

"Yes, she is fine now" I answered.

And soon I fell asleep. Throughout the weeks, I helped her to the best of my ability adjust and upon seeing the first laughs, smiles, and surprise made me realise that she was in fact the closure to that painful chapter. But, the next chapter was beautiful as we quickly adjusted to a family of four.


End file.
